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anger problem

Question: I get mad a people and tend to raise my voice, me and my girl friend got in to a fight because i got mad over some thing that could of be controlled by talking it out how can i control yelling at her. any tips on making me calm down before some thing like this happens again, because I think she is about done with it and we just got engaged.

Answer: It’s normal to get angry. We all get angry from time to time. However, people differ in the ways they manage and express their anger. As you probably know already, uncontrolled anger can have a very negative impact on interpersonal relationships. Yelling only makes things worse. When you yell at your girlfriend, she will likely feel hurt, become defensive, and harbor resentment towards you. So, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger in positive and healthy ways. First of all, try not to let angry feelings escalate. As anger builds, it becomes harder and harder to control. During a disagreement, if your anger towards your girlfriend keeps growing in intensity, take a break from each other until your frustrations diminish. Once you have calmed down, you will be better able to express your feelings in a more controlled and less confrontational manner. Both of you will find that the discussion will become more productive.

How people manage their anger is very individualized. Examples of anger management techniques include deep breathing exercises, relaxation imagery, meditation, and physical activity. If you feel that you are unable to get your anger under control by yourself, you may benefit from professional assistance. Anger can be a symptom of deeper issues that a therapist can help you process and resolve.

Response by Dr. Ray S. Kim

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This post was submitted by kevin.

Thursday, August 19th, 2010 at 13:27