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Question: Hello. I live with my mother and I am 19 years old male. She is very dominant person, and she always wants to command the people around her. I don’t like when she does the same with me. I don’t know how to stop her influencing my character and identity. Sometimes I can see my mother reflected in my own bodily movements or hear her voice when I speak. Is there any way I can change it and make my personality independent of hers?

Answer: It sounds like your mother has continued to treat you as if you were still a very young child. And it is likely that you are responding to her the way you did when you were much younger. You would benefit from therapy which focuses on helping you establish your independence and autonomy. This should automatically include helping you create new parameters regarding your relationship with your mother and feeling more grounded about your identity.

Response by Dr. Andrea Benn

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Family, 8.3 out of 10 based on 3 ratings

This post was submitted by Mende.

Monday, June 14th, 2010 at 12:35